by Bruce Cook
I’m writing this as I fly across the Atlantic. I’m on my way to America via Aer Lingus flight 115 to see people that I haven’t seen since before COVID. I’m heading home. Or am I?
I’m very much looking forward to re-connecting with some of the most important people in my life. Family and a couple of others. Sure, we do our regular Zoom or FaceTime calls, but it’s not the same. More than just an ‘update’ on what’s happening in life, a proper in-person visit will allow us to be truly present. To have those organic conversations that start as trivial but often take you to a place that reminds you that this is someone that matters... and cares. The feeling is mutual, symbiotic. It's an emotional connection that you can’t get from a ‘virtual coffee’, no matter how frequent. I can't wait.
I’m also going back to my homeland. I moved to Scotland more than 20 years ago. I don’t spend much time in America these days, but I’m a proud American and always will be. That said, I must also admit that as the years have passed, America has begun to feel increasingly foreign. America has changed, and I suspect so have I. I still feel warm and welcome when I get there, but its a little like walking back into your old high school. Exciting and wonderful, but not quite as I remember it.
The flip side of this ‘American alumnus’ conundrum is that when I fly back to Scotland, I know it will feel like I’m going home. I now feel comfortable there, not just because I have Scottish family, but because it suits me well. I like the pace, the people, the food, the sense of humour, and I’ve even grown accustomed to spelling ‘humour’ (and a bunch of other words) with a ‘u’. The ever-green rolling hills aren't bad either.
So where is home? The obvious answer is ‘both’. And more. That’s because home isn't a house, or a city or a country. It isn't just about where you pay taxes. Home is where you feel comfortable. It’s where you feel appreciated, supported, and loved. Hopefully it’s the place you work, the team you play on, the pub you frequent, the company you keep. Chosen wisely, these should all feel like home.
In 2008 I went to work for RBS, a bank that was at the heart of the financial crisis. With customers’ financial future and the careers of colleagues on the line, the pressure and stress was exceedingly high, but I’ve never worked anywhere that felt more like home… until it didn’t. Then I had to move on.
The good news here is that we don’t have to choose just one ‘home’. None of us do. Wherever we go, whatever we do, we should be looking for a sense of ‘home’. Surrounded by caring and support, we can endure and overcome most any obstacle. Life’s challenges become surmountable.
Work can be hard, school can be hard, competitive sport is hard, life is hard. It’s supposed to be. That’s what makes us strong. Especially when we have the opportunity to face our challenges ‘at home’.
We see this all the time in sport. It’s reflected in the betting odds. While I’m no gambling aficionado (far from it), I do know that all things being equal, odds-makers tilt the scale to the home team. They have both the emotional support of the crowd as well as the comfort of familiar surroundings. The home team sleeps in their own beds, dresses in their own locker room, and goes out to play on a familiar field/pitch/court/rink. It’s called ‘home court advantage’ for a reason.
So as we make our way through the challenges of our personal and professional lives, it just makes sense to always seek out a sense of home. We get better odds that way. If it doesn’t feel like home, our options are to create one or to move on. Otherwise we’re in for emptiness and disappointment... and a less than optimal performance. Far too many people feel that now. Most are simply not at home.
I’m on my way to America. Yes, I’m going home. Then I’ll go home to Scotland. And thanks to a small but warm and supportive following, this blog is also starting to feel a little bit like home.
Home. A destination well worth travelling to or working toward - no matter how long or bumpy the road.
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this so resonates for me … that home isn’t a singular place, but the people, team, environment where you feel most comfortable, content, supported and loved.